Wednesday 8 January 2014

Anchorman 2 v Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Last night I sat down with my buddy  and watched..

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Plot summary

Ford, Lucas and Spielberg refuse to leave any money on the table. Unlike Guns and Roses that left an insane amount of money on the table by taking a writing and touring hiatus for the best part of 15 years.  However the team behind the Indiana Jones saga clearly thought 'lets not make the same mistake as the Guns and Roses. Lets rinse this cash cow and pretend its what the fans want.' 

Blanchett, so divisive. 
My buddy Paul and I spent about thirty minutes deciding whether we'd bang Cate Blanchett. HAHAHA Ladies don't get all self righteous, all guys have this existential discussion at some point and yes we know that if Cate Blanchett walked in any room we'd all drop our jaws, get our tiny willy's out and cry. However we never really concluded whether we would or not. So the jury is still out on that hot button topic. As for the film, well it keeps the ridiculous yet fantastically exaggerated snare sound used for when Indiana punches anyone. Honestly that was a highlight for me. There's about 30 minutes of a good film in there which makes it passable, however where it fails is the inclusion of aliens and all that Lucas bollocks. It hasn't got the charm of its predecessors, but it's by no means a failure.

Tomato Meter - 78%
Tomato Meter - 54%
Peter Meter     - 71%

The other week I went to the cinema alone and caught..

Anchorman 2 The Legend Continues

Plot Summary

The octagon under wraps
The band is back together again. The heart of the film is centered around what we really class as news. 

The original was probably one of the best and most quotable comedies since Airplane. However this film isn't as quotable but there are some genuine belly laughs. It is a little sad to go to the cinema alone, especially a comedy. However I employed my usual tactics of remaining close to a tiny group of misfits whilst entering, leaving a coat on the adjacent seat and putting the drink in the far holder, and sliding smoothly into a tight huddle of people on exiting as if trying to give the FBI the slip.

Tomato Meter - 75%
Tomato Meter - 64%
Peter Meter     - 79%


VERDICT

As it is Shirley Bassetts birthday today I thought I would treat you all to a little bit of vintage Bassey. I could have been predictable and gone down the Goldfinger or Diamonds are Forever route, but for any aspiring singers out there, sit down and take note. She really throws the kitchen sink at this and it's just incredible. I have actually seen her sing live and the Royal Albert Hall and it was a privilege. Anyway, take 4 minutes out of your day and WATCH Shirley Bassey hit the high notes, and NOT Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull OR Anchorman 2.